Thursday, 21 June 2012
Tears and anger
I have been very tearful this last two days, really miss my pa, every
time I say it is much easier, I feel like I get hit by a bus. I had very
vivid images of dad, felt I could reach out and touch him,almost hear
his voice and smell him. Alas no, of course. I felt inexplicably angry,
everything annoyed me,nothing felt right was not comfortable in my own
skin.
Poor John, sorry to say I took it out on him, but he does understand thank goodness.
So all in all a bad few days. I am calming down now.Saw my last client till July 4th.Thank goodness. I have felt very tired since the wedding.
Since dad died, we have known we had that to look forward to.Now it is all over and it feels a bit flat. I am going to Glasgow on Glasgow fair Friday for a long weekend with Sandra,.
Jackie Gary and Matthew have all made it clear that I can stay with them when I visit Glasgow.
I think I will go once a quarter and stay with each of them once.I don't suppose I will do this forever but certainly the first year.
Folkestone tomorrow thank goodness ,a little house a stones throw from the beach ,next door to the pub,and a view of the ferries coming in and out from France. Sounds good to me.
Then a long weekend with Johnny Ellie and Archie. It is one of the pluses about this new life,I can go to places other than Glasgow nowadays.
All shall be well ,and all shall be well,
and all manner of things shall be well .
Poor John, sorry to say I took it out on him, but he does understand thank goodness.
So all in all a bad few days. I am calming down now.Saw my last client till July 4th.Thank goodness. I have felt very tired since the wedding.
Since dad died, we have known we had that to look forward to.Now it is all over and it feels a bit flat. I am going to Glasgow on Glasgow fair Friday for a long weekend with Sandra,.
Jackie Gary and Matthew have all made it clear that I can stay with them when I visit Glasgow.
I think I will go once a quarter and stay with each of them once.I don't suppose I will do this forever but certainly the first year.
Folkestone tomorrow thank goodness ,a little house a stones throw from the beach ,next door to the pub,and a view of the ferries coming in and out from France. Sounds good to me.
Then a long weekend with Johnny Ellie and Archie. It is one of the pluses about this new life,I can go to places other than Glasgow nowadays.
All shall be well ,and all shall be well,
and all manner of things shall be well .
Monday, 30 April 2012
Ruth's Poem
Let love find you
Let love find you, for
it seeks you now.
Stand in the open
doorway and welcome it in.
This is your home -
this
body, that today is heavy and sad,
another
day will dance.
Listen – even the
small birds
who
tease wool fluff from the gravel
bring
messages of hope.
See – even the magpies
and the crows
are
beautiful.
You will laugh again -
first
learn to laugh at yourself.
Listen to your own
prayer -
answer
your own question.
Let life find you, for
it seeks you now.
Stand in the open doorway
and welcome it in.
Ruth Marshall, 20 April 2012
No comments:
Post a Comment