Made it through!

Hi blog,

pleased to say I got through yesterday dad's 1st anniversary.

The five of us were in touch and we all feel the same; can't believe that a year has gone past, and we all miss ma and pa and visiting Kintillo so much.

Gary invited the family over last night, well, Wendy did. t was so good that they we all together, and they gained comfort from each other.

Sandra was very sad and upset as I was , Jackie was struggling but was withdrawn. Gary and Matthew were in touch and said how they felt.

I was glad to hear from everyone .
I had a tough day ,totally forgot Jane and Becky the cleaners were coming, they nearly gave me a heart attack. I hardly slept the night before so was having a dressing gown morning. I was glad they came , i did cry over them and they gave me a hug, I got dressed and went for a walk to the five trees. hugged dad's tree and had a chat with him. It was a lovely morning and I felt better, came back in time to get ready for work before client came. It was great to come back to a lovely clean house.

After seeing M.... I went into M&S and swapped my cardigan for a pair of jeans.I enjoyed trying on lots of things that I had no intention of buying.

I went into the apple shop and looked at ipad's ,getting closer to buying one. But I will need to go with Andrew.

I watched a movie and had an early night feeling totally shattered.


Glad to have got to the end of this week!

I had some highlights, it was not all doom and gloom.

Saw all the friends that I could, and had a particularly lovely lunch with Patsy at Delifonseca.We spent three hours chatting and eating lovely food, I loved the Deli too.

I went on to see Untouchable....wonderful.


Anita and Patsy have both had sad losses in the last weeks,  we talked about how you find you resillience and keep the will to live once you have been through all this, especially as you are older and do not have the resilliance of youth

I am still reflecting on all this, I guess my children give me hope, new babies give me hope, Ellie is having a daughter in February, lucky her. Would have loved a daughter. What a great privelage to bring up a little girl and guide her towards womanhood.

It was the daughters to took care of mum and dad in the end too.

I suppose I fear the future at times. I will be there for John inshalla, who will be there for me?

Everything is as it should be,

nothing is as it seems.

Trust the universe!

All shall be well ,
and all shall be well  ,

and all manner of things shall be well......and so it is.

Still miss you pa....will the great sorrow ever end? inshalla!