Alone time/ time with friends!

John is away in London/Stockholm this week. I have been so looking forward to time alone in the house,in my life, time to have some unstructured days, eating what and when I like. Seeing friends watching favourite movies, Helen time. I guess.

I have been very productive in the house, sorted the bedroom as best I can without more new furniture, which I can't face getting just yet! Michelle's man with a van came and took away my old duvets , quilts,sheets, clothes , and the old unit from the hall. I have donated our dresser from the bedroom to the hall and it look so much nicer.

I have done some banking things too.

AND I am so close to finishing Andrew/s rug.Promised John I would have it done by the time he gets home.

I had tea with Beth and she has given me a book about Blessingsways. I am organising hers.I know them as baby showers ,this is a bit similar but with a focus on the Mother.

All new to me but very happy to be asked, especially as I do not have a daughter to help with hers.

Spent the afternoon at Kasbah with Sue and Margaret yesterday.It was fab ,as always.

I felt cared for!

Today coffee at Moon and Pea with Anita and a long walk in the park first.

Tomorrow Delifonseca with Patsy :-)

My IBS returned, I know it is connected with too much stress and of course dad's anniversary on Friday,

Pa, been reliving last year at this time. Too sad. Auntie Isa said that you knew you would not be forgotten and that you are/were loved, and that you would want me to move on.

I know what she means ;and I can't just move on. You would like that, I think about you, and talk about you and remember you ,because you did that for you pa.

I do know you would not want me to be miserable. I am not miserable I grieve for you! that is not the same, that is a natural healing process.

I have been imagining this week ,sometimes when I have courage,that I am on my own,this is it, this is how my life is. Living on my own. It is ok ...sometimes...sad...sometimes I can do this....but it is not real.John is coming home...I am not sure that you can prepare yourself for loss. It is good to face the reality of it though.

Courage Camellion!


Al shalll be well
and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well!


Peace to the north
peace to the south
peace to the east
peace to the west.

peace be without,peace be within.

peace,peace, peace.