I started this week in Salford, teaching and helping Philip to make a Christmas Cake. it was fun,as was seeing more of Tim Munchin
We spent the following day in Manchester as tourists and we all enjoyed it.
I was feeling very proud that for the first time since dad died, Sandra Jackie and I were together for a few days and there were no tears! just a wonderful few days being together as happy sisters ,having fun!
Then we went to Fact for MMCC to see Beasts of the Southern Wild. Which I loved, BUT there is a scene in that movie when a little girl is saying goodbye to her dying father. On its own it was very moving, but for me it took me back to the last night I spent with my dad in hospital, and we were crying for the same reason. That was the night of my 63rd birthday.
I felt quite sad and ill, actually, for a few days after, intense feeling cause me to shut down my digestive systems. I have found since dad died that I have felt a bit disillusioned about life, I feel ok; I do enjoy things, but I just seem to have lost my zest for life,in the way I used to have it.
The news is awful , people you thought were good people turn out not to be, people you thought you could trust and look up to have let us all down. It is a sad time in many ways.
John and I listened too some music that I loved when we first met, " Light a candle round the world" Val Doonigan." I am but a small voice" Roger Whittaker. "Imagine" John Lennon.
"Light a candle round the world, pray that life will never cease; till the nations of the world; take each others hands in peace. "
I am but a small voice..."we have one hope ,we have one dream,and with one voice we sing....Peace Prosperity and Love to all Mankind"
Imagine all the people ,living live in peace....
Going to San Francisco and wearing flowers in your hair.
They all inspired me to believe in peace, believe it was possible.
Training as a counsellor re-enforced those beliefs,or because of those beliefs I trained as a counsellor.
People are essentially good, people can change, people can take responsibility for themselves.
If I listened enough ,loved enough, cared enough, it would make a difference.
Lately,I have been struggling with my optimistic beliefs, all the deaths, John's illness, getting older myself.
I was worried I was turning into a crabbit auld wife.
Yesterday I run a blessingways event for Beth.I was honoured to be asked although I had never heard of blessingways.
It is get together of woman ,to give love support and encouragement to a woman who will soon be giving birth.
I read a bit about it but decided to go with my own instincts.I know Beth I understand her needs and I have a lot of experience in facilitating groups a lot of experience of life and a lot of experience of being a woman and a mother.
I brought fourteen woman together, they all brought flowers that had special meaning for them, and for Beth.
They brought love, encouragement, support, songs ,poems , food and tears and laughter.
It was a beautiful thing to be part of and to watch,the woman did not all know each other, and I worked hard in the first hour to get every one relaxed and feeling safe enough to listen to Beth and share openly.
Apart from Beth's mum and furure mother-in-law, they were all young woman.
They gave me my hope back ,my belief in the goodness of people, my belief that woman are wonderful and can and do make a difference.
Their wisdom astonished me, thrilled me, soothed me.
I feel hopefull again, because those beautiful woman are bring up the next generation.
They gave me such good feedback and encouragement about my skills in running the event!
I even got a hip hip hooray for Helen!
no competitation, no rivelray ,just woman being together and celebrating each other.
I left that evening feeling rejuvinated : peace, prosperity, and love for all mankind, it possible ,is happening in places all over the world, it is just not news.
Thank you to all you beautiful young and not so young woman, thank you Beth, for the honour of taking part and organising your blessingways.
This week we have also had some nice new things, new cooker hood, new blinds, new sheets.
And I feel renewed !
I baked cakes today,made soup, prepared a lovely salad! thought about my mosaic tile and my next rug.
ordered more Christmas gifts.Planed the next Artist's Way ( which many woman, yesterday had heard about and showed interest in)
Tonight John and I will go to Fact to see Rear Window,and Andrew is right. It is not in black and white, funny how your mind plays tricks on you.
I feel better pa, had a tough few days missing you, now I am doing ok, encouraged, miss you and love you always,but for now. I can live with that.
All shall be well
and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well
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