normal tiredness today/peace love and lentils.

Slept most of yesterday  only had a plate of cereal all day,then slept all night till 9 am.this morning.

Phil continued with A&L 's laundry which is still drying on the balcony . I just lost all my energy in the middle of doing it yesterday and went back to bed.

John doing a bit more cooking,and Phil doing the shopping. John had a bad night and I worry, because if am not well, who will take care of him.

He feels a bit better today,I think we are all too old for these marathon events. I am the only one admitting it and I am the youngest of the three.



I listened to spem in alium-thomas tallis


So beautiful , I was lying on top of the bed  and the sun was streaming in the windows.

Made me think of Inveraray and inevitablely of you pa! more tears.I miss you so much sometimes it is too painful to even talk about it.

Your Stained Glass Panel is up in the glass door of Sophie's terrace now.


The Matt Collins window is not only  functional, which you would approve of, but it looks great too,still a bit more work to be done around it but 95% is done.

You would hardly recognise Castlenel pa, it has improved so much since your time and is much warmer,or at least you can have it warm if you can pay the bills.

I don't worry about that,it costs what it costs. I am willing to pay my share to be warm or cool,and the older we get the more we need this facility. It is one of the good things about Ullet, we can have it as warm as toast in winter as it is such a small space.

I am missing Sandra , we usually talk daily. I hope we can catch up soon, as the house is quieter, it is just finding a time when John does not need his room, and Sandra and I are free at the same time.

Shall i get an ipad. I promised myself a bike and an ipad with you money pa.

But it seeme to be flying out the window. I paid off debts to Phil , treated the kids to hotels and fares for J&G's wedding, bought expensive birthday presents, bought £3000 beds, and some Art from Lucy which we both love,and we had a holiday in Folkeston and London .I also loaned some money out.
Bought your window and Panel, and a window for Seodin and still have to pay for the rest of the improvements in that room

So what about my bike and my ipad? you may well ask pa.

The beauty of loaning some of the money out is that it helps the other people and it increases our income.

We lost our rent allowance because of the inheritence and we have lost quite a lot of income because my work is declining. Maybe because my work can be seen as luxury ( I still have my pro bono clients )

New paying clients are a bit thin on the ground.

So the income from the loans will be a great help.

I am going to invest  a good chunk of the money  that is left,into an account which I cannot touch for either,one ,two or three years.

Then we will revert back to living on income.

I will feel more in control.

I am thinking already about the cost of Christmas.

John has eleven people now, I still have three, plus John I don't have pa but since all the sister's are closer, we now give gifts.

Then all the litte gifts for clients and students,all add up. Beth.(her new baby plus Ellie is having another) I need to make an assertion about Christmas but I am not sure what it is yet.

Cards only? £20 per person?I have always hated that idea, but the family is expanding and our income decreasing,so what can you do? I think the most expensive gift I had from you pa was a cheque for £30 for John and my birthday. And i was pleased,so there  you go.


The kids don't seem to condider drawing in their horns, they way we did ,they have everything they want , many holidays and weekends away, nights out.
They don't seem to save for emergencies.

I think you taught us well pa. I take after you I am car ful with money mostly, but like mum with the children i can be a bit extravagent.

I only ever borrowed from you once in my life and that was  £1 when I was 16 for a pair of flat shoes ,as I was going out with a boy who was smaller than me. God I worked hard for that pound.from you :-)

Once when my gran-da died and I came over from Ireland from the funeral, you gave me £50 to help with the fares. I was so shocked and so grateful too.

And that was the some total of what you gave me in 63 years,until now pa.

I am grateful you you. I hate wasting money and getting a bit like you.I don't like spending it either. :-) only sometimes though :-)

I need to toughen up because it is easy to say no ,if you don't have money but not so easy to say no if you have.

I have to force myself sometimes to take the small amount of money that some clients can afford to pay ,now ,because I have some money in the bank. But I do because it is their dignity that matters and mine too.

Don't know how I got on to money pa, talking to you I guess. Thinking about what you would do is helping me to make decisions now . I have had a bit of a fling mostly for other people.A lot of folk have benefited from your hard earned money pa. Now it is time to save again and let the money grow a bit.

Thank you for you guidence.

May peace prevail on earth !

at the end of the day, it is the peacemakers on the world stage , in small families ,in workplaces, that have the most courage. it is so easy to get pissed off with people,to fight and kill others,to be exclusive.

To keep communications opened when things get tough,that is courageous and for me,real love.

There is no money in it ,and not much recognition either.

Blessed are the peacemakers !