Old Trafford and time with the boys.

Can't believe how tired I feel. I know grief can be exhausting but this is something else.

I have had so much rest and sleep but I waken up as tired as I went to bed.

I have enjoyed my time alone in Liverpool while John enjoys London.

I went to the five trees, and dad's tree is surrounded by beautiful daffodils,it made me weep.

I tried talking to dad which usually helps calm me,but this time I felt sad on my whole walk round the park. I think I am in a state of apathy.

I feel great concern for Sandra ,she is as tired as I am ,if not more ,and she works full time with small children and has all this legal stuff to deal with. More problems came up on Friday and S&M have been busy coping with them.

I almost jumped on the train to Glasgow but firstly what can I do and secondly I do not have a place to stay anymore, not like Kintillo, where I arrived and took over the running of things and looked after Pa.
Now I have to be a visitor in one of the siblings house.More things to adapt to. I know I must and I know I will but now I want to hide under the duvet.
I went to the Match with Andrew and I am so glad I did it was precious time with him,and we had tea with Philip too, just the three of us for a little while. Always good for me.
The game was very exciting and when I got home I just wanted to text dad and tell him about it,he was always interested in everything I did. Only parents remain interested in you for decades and decades. I miss that.
Happily I continue to be very interested in my family,their jobs their interests,their ups and downs. Life is a bit of a struggle right now. I feel better realising it could to the apathy stage of grief.This too shall pass.