Today doing morning pages was very painful ,found myself writing a letter to my dad telling him how much I missed him and how the family are coping without him.
I know he is dead yet i can't take in I will not see him hug him kiss him again. I found myself texting him the other day, not expecting anything back obviously,I am not totally mad just regular grieving mad.My youngest brother G has been suffering terribly with his eye,he squirted head and shoulders shampoo into his eye the other night and he is in all kinds of discomfort.We all seem a bit broked,getting ill, very tired accident prone. Text book stuff but so so real when you are living through it.
I can't make up my mind whether I should cancel my work this week,sometimes it helps other times it feels impossible.Counselling is the hardest thing as it is emotional anyway.The workshops with John's help can be helpful.Ran one yesterday in spite of awful cold. They were a lovely samll group and John was there so it was ok.
I think next Saturday A&P&P&K will go out for a meal,maybe at Host,instead of the dinner party I had planned.
Might cancel 4th November and go to Glasgow,but why,dad's not there ,but the siblings and co are and that might help me feel a bit better.
An advert came in this morning for a children's writer's workshop in Oregon by the Pacific.Would love to be there right now.I am tempted to book it ,it is in July for a week. We could go after Jackie's Wedding.That is all booked up for June 9th at Park Circus Registary office in Glasgow then at The Pond Hotel. A happy family event ther will be good. Must let the boys know about booking the Pond,do it now and it is inexpensive ,leave it till June cost's an arm and a leg.
Want to write about my time in Spain, Ireland, Scone,Inverary. I am just not able to reach that far back right now.
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