Two year gone past. 8th October 2013

Dearest dad,

we have come to the two year anniversary of your death.

October 5th was the date you left us. My heart was broken that day and I realise I will never be the same person now that you are gone.



The last two years have been hard but I have kept going through the tough times.

I am mostly OK but the 5th was very hard, I felt very tearful and missed you as much as ever that day.

I saw you at the five trees, it is very comforting having your ashes there, I imagine you in the trunk, bark,branches and the leaves.

I heard the other day  on the radio, someone saying that when someone dies we have to find a new way of having our relationship with them.

This made complete sense to me pa.

I have been finding my way with you.

You would like the Collins Family Facebook album that Wendy started, lots of pictures going up,it is really lovely.Some very special pictures of you in the 5th.

Sam and Louise are having a little boy, we now know, so your first great grandchild is on his way into the world.

We are all good, we keep in touch, more than you might have imagined.

Matthew and Matthew have been here to visit with John and I.Sandra and Jackie have been here  and are coming again in November.

Gary emails sometime,Wendy is the one that keeps in touch though.They have all been very supportive since John has been so ill.


It looks like he will be home tomorrow!

Andrew and Lucy continue to be happy together and have a good life, always some holiday on the horizon or weekends with friends.
They have been immensely supportive to me since John's illness I am so grateful to them and so glad that they are close by.

Philip is at a crossroads, looks like changes are afoot for him, he is doing a tefel course this month he wants to travel and teach English, and maybe have a travelling pizza oven too, to visit festivals and sell pizzas  in the summers.

We do not see so much of Bill and Irene now, after all, they were your friends pa, and we will be forever grateful for their care of you .

This is the official end of my blog recording my journey through my mourning for you pa.


I suspect that once in a while I might add some footnotes.

You ever loving daughter ,  Helen