Quiet week para mi! and good things!

Well blog!


I have been too busy to keep up with you, but here I am now.

Our visit to Manchester was wonderful,Philip planed such a lovely day and evening  for us, we both enjoyed every minute!

David and Lara have been and gone, and that was a very successful visit too.Great to see them both and hear all their exciting news.



John is now in London, much recovered from the dentist visit. DV.

I have not been feeling too well, shattered really, since John got ill I have had more and more to do.

Not just physically, but all the responsibility for everything that goes on with us and around us  ,here and in Spain,all the finances, all the preparations for Christmas New year, dates with family and friends.Chores in the house.

Since we got dad's money we lost £300 pm  rent allowance, that is a big loss, and my work is slowing down,counselling is expensive, so people come less ,of course I see people, money or no money.I guess if I wanted to have lots of money I would not be a counsellor. :-).

Coping with this plus the worry over John , and I still grieve for my pa.

Christmas and new year are hard when you have lost your mum and dad, no gifts to buy for them no cards to send.Such a big hole in the middle of you.

I had a massage on Friday I felt sore all over, especially my lower back and my neck, she said I have terrible knots of tension the lower back is inflamed.
I like this woman , we have a plan to help me back to what ever passes for normal.

After the massage, I felt very tearful, maybe all the tension has been holding me together. Once John was away and I knew he was well looked after.I let it all go. I have been sleeping and crying most of the weekend.Watching sad girlie movies, and music moves me to tears, mostly because of memories, not that the music is necessarly sad.

The world news upsets me, what is wrong with the world? is it not so much easier to love people? be kind to each other? love and appreciate what you have, rather that miss the things and people you think you want.

Can't really tell people, John was always my confident , my best friend, now I don't want to burden him.

I don't like anyone worrying about me. I am the strong one, like pa.Oldest child syndrome.
I marvel at John's ability to receive , he is the youngest son of six, he is used to being looked after .I see it with my siblings too.

In fact if I withdraw, have plenty alone time, to spread out ,listen to my music as loud as  like ,sleep when I want to,eat when I want.to I find I recover in my own time.

Hoping to have a bit more energy so we can enjoy the festive plans.

I want to learn to ask for help, people do offer, but I always think they are so busy and I should do everything , so they can relax and enjoy themselves.

The Lightbody children and holding up their promise to have John regularly so I can rest- that is much appreciated.

Marie said they have a big house, and John can go there too, he can have his own room all the space he wants.  Me too. I felt touched by that. Marie is very tuned in to how it is for me. I appreciate this. Naturally folk worry about John ask  after him.

It was like this for pa, when mum was ill, people forgot how it was for him ,coping with her day in day out, with little restbite.

Twas ever thus.

Good things,

I love spotify sin adverts!

Discovered a new or forgotten  recording by Elvis " Never been to Spain"  love it ,play it endlessly.

also Yaya by Trini Lopez.

I remember in the 60's I think it was,Petula Clark recorded yaya twist, since I have been   a yaya, I tried to find it, but no sign on spotify,but I love the Trini Lopez version,I play that endlessly too.

95% Christmas shopping done!
 enjoying making cards!
 Love the park.
 Like my own company.
 Enjoyed Argo!
 Asda delivered to-day!
 Getting my appetite back.
Liverpool looks very festive.
Massage on Thursday.
Philip just ran for our sunday chat.

I have much to be grateful for.

Thank you Universe


All shall be well
and all shall be well,
and all manner of things shall be well.


Hi pa, I still can't delete your email address,or your address from amazon....am I totally crazy ?

love and miss you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx