Anniverary, Jubilee, Wedding.

It was the 2nd anniversary of the death of my dear friend of 45 years .Gavin.

I was in touch with Susan , Libby and young Gavin.They were all feeling the loss that day ,May 29th.

Gavin said he still expects Gavin to walk into his house , expects to hear that familiar voice.

 Libby still can't take it in. Susan is getting on with her life and has a wonderful holiday booked, but on the day. it was hard, the anniversary bring you back to the painful place.
I don't think I really believe Gavin is gone. It is so hard if you were not there.I did not see him when he was ill and dying.I was not at his funeral.I think it will hit me next time I go to Sydney.
The three of us were a great team ,we had great  holiday's together over the years.Gavin made us laugh he was immensely patient. he had the " Gavin bag" in which he carried all mine and Susan's "things." Passports sunglasses cameras. he never complained just did it willingly. He used to refer to Susan as the S factor, said he could have everything planned and organised,but  then there was the S factor to consider., He was worried the first time the three of us went on holiday together , because there was now the H factor too. Gavin you were kind generous patient and funny. I found  a lovely picture of you and my dad; with Libby, as a child.It was taken in OZ and you all look amazing. Will we all meet again,if so where, how? it would be wonderful to be able to believe this.

It is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee this year and the public celebration weekend is this weekend.

I am Scottish and I think we Scots don't have the same connection to royalty as the English folk do.

I am a republican ,but I am not hostile to the royals as many people seem to be. Here in England the people seem to be divided between staunch almost fanatical support, and very hostile anti royal feeling.

I have been reflecting that in Ireland ( south) the Tricolour seemed to bring people together , it was a flag folk could get behind and made them feel proud.
In Spain too the Spanish flag seemed to be a symbol that unified folk.

Britain is so fragmented,the Union Jack has been hijacked by some pretty right wing people and they have made English people feel uneasy with it,they tried to use St George's Flag but sadly some hooligans brought that flag into disrepute.

I think in London there is a good feeling for the flag and the Queen but is by no means nationwide.

I feel sad that we in Britain do not have a leader or a symbol that makes us feel proud and united ,and can override on special occasions in history, the differences in all of us.Something or someone who can help us celebrate the differences and still feel connected.

Apart from shops and the high street ,I see no evidence of the Jubilee here in Liverpool.

Our family always felt a kind of very very loose,connection the the Royals, as I was born same year as Prince Charles, Sandra same as princess Princess Ann, Matthew about the same time as Prince Andrew, and Jackie same time as Prince Edward. The Queen stopped there, mum went on to have one more.Gary.

I feel a strange new warmth to the Queen and Prince Philip,since my own parents died, they are still around and in some way with all the changes in my own life, I feel reassured that those two are still there.

I don't want to even have to explain this ,it just, is, for now.
In fact blog, you are the only one I can tell ,as the subject seems to set people off,everyone has their own agenda about them ,and I do not want to have an agenda or be in either camp.

Between us, I loved the Flotilla ,I was moved by the water pageant,I love seeing folk coming together and rejoicing. Whatever it is that brings them together, and the Gloriana and the Belfry were a sight to behold.

This morning I listened to the service of thanksgiving from St Paul's. the music the choir and fanfares and even the sermon were wonderful everything on a grand scale.

There has been a sense gemeinschafgefuel Adler would like it.

I felt sad for the Queen as her husband was not with her,he is in hospital.
 Reminded me of how lost dad was when mum was in hospital and in the care home.

Old age comes to us all. It can be frightening and lonely, no matter who we are and how much money we have or have not.



This weekend we are going to Jackie and Geoff's  weddding in Glasgow. My family are all travelling on Friday and we are all staying at the Pond Hotel the venue of the wedding reception.

I hope this will give us new and happy memories of us all being together in Glasgow.

There will be a sadness that Ma and Pa are not there of course.

We will do all we can to be there and be supportive to Jackie.

"Dad" I know you were sad when Jackie told you she was getting married,you knew that you would not make it till June.
Bill told us later how upset you were,but as always dad you never let it show.

I said to Auntie Isa ,that I was sad that you and mum would not be there, especailly as mum  loved a wedding ,all the glam all the dancing all the family around.

She said you would both be there:-) well pa I hope you are. I will be watching out for signs of you guys.

Love you dad, still don't really believe that I will NEVER see you again.

Sandra and I are going to Lambhill cemetry next Sunday to see yours and mum's names in The Book of Rememberance; and to visit mum's grave; and as there is a wee bit of you there we feel we are coming to see you both; and to tell you about the wedding, and to freshen up the flowers.
 The following week is Father's Day :-( first one without you pa.This will be our Father's day visit.

I will go to the five tree's in Sefton Park on the day!