Too much cleaning and The West Wing

I hardly slept last night, missed you dad.
The last few days have been busy with cleaning the whole house and laundering every sheet, pillow case ,blanket,towel in the house and doing a massive ironing.
I quite enjoy running Castlenel  routinely and doing the physical work, but I really feel the pressure even more this year because the two sets of guests we have coming are complete strangers.And of course I am not getting any younger.It is like the caravan pa, you need to have a big clean in the spring when the house is opened up and a big clean in the autumn before winter sets in.

I have had Frank in to help me, with the heavy lifting  we have no car now so we need Frank to get gas and run it upstairs, John can't do anything like this nowadays and in fact although I can do masses of stuff, that is beyond my capabilities, you would like him pa he is very particular and methodical .


I have been getting Bodega, soon to be Seoidin, ready for Matthew and Greg, a bit early you may say,but we are not back till a day before the M&C and it would not be a good idea to start all that work at that point as there will be more than enough to do at that time,it was full of tools and store room,and a messy one at that,you would not approve.The new window was put in and it looks fab, I seem to be buying windows for the men in my life.But all the mess from the work was still all over the floor and the dust was everywhere.
You were a great worker dad,when you fitted a bathroom suite or did any work in any room you left it like a new pin.I have found out ,not all men are like you :-) all girls feel like this about their dads.

I would be greatly helped if I could speak good Spanish or Sarah could speak English , the people who are meant to interpret are illusive and I feel a bit stressed trying to make sure Sarah knows what has to be done for the guests, after I leave ,and during the guests stay.

Don't know why I telling you all this dad, maybe beacuse I think you would get what it is like for me, you understood what it takes to run a home,not many men do, probably beacuse you did it all by yourself for the last seven years,You had high standards too pa,it is not always a good thing , it drives you too much,and other people don't get it unless they have the Collins gene :-) they can
 live with less order more dust,so they think we are crackers ,maybe we are..

I watched The West Wing last night,it was the one where Leo died,it was awful I am sure the grief of the actors was real they all knew John Spencer so well.

I think that is what made me sad and unable to sleep much,it opened up all my sadness about you.

I seem yo be under the impression that the next thing will make me feel a bit better,but truth be told pa, is that no matter what I do, how many holidays I have how much money I will receive, it always come back to you not being here anymore.

I think I am at the angry stage I feel a bit P off with small things , and big things too like life and death.

I love you dad,always have always will.

Your ever loving first born X