Reflections,sunshine,eye hospital,and more new things.

Hi Blog,

went to see the five trees and talk to dad yesterday. The park looks wonderful filled with life.I saw two Canada geese with three babies, a heron, two water hen babies, and of course MY swans and the two very large cygnets. I took lots of pictures and had a coffee by the lake.It was very relaxing.
It is another beautiful day in Liverpool.I have an appointment at the eye hospital today,looking forward to that being over.
We ordered a new desk yesterday on Amazon,it is meant to be arriving today because we have Prime (thanks to Andrew) but today I got an email to say it has just been dispatched ,so who knows.

I am feeling anxious but I am not sure why! Might be hospital visit, might be I miss dad.

.Had fearful thoughts yesterday. Finding it hard to let go, if I have good happy days I then feel guilty, I don't want to "be over dad" and I am not,but if I feel I am at certain moments. I don't like it retrospectively.

Matt and Marie are home form America. Greg is going to France for some time with Phil.

I have things to sort out about M&C but can't seem to find the energy to contact everyone. Young Matthew is definitely saying he will be there. M&M still not booked flights.I had a meeting with (big) Phil on the boat and we agreed on some tasks we can all do. I have to get in touch and ask/let people know what they need to do before and what they can do at Castlenel.. It always extra work for me and right now I can't be bothered. We have had so much this last two years to cope with , along with the sad things,we have had John's 80th, Christmas , Glasgow in January,holidays birthdays, a good few this year.
I think we will slip away for our 25th. I cannot face with all the organising. The Lightbody kids are all in different places now with all their children.I think the days are past when we can all get together.
We have done well. We have to see each other in small groups nowadays, and it seems that we have to be the travellers,and really this is getting less possible for John.

I think this is normal, I am able to see more of my siblings now,as  most of the children are grown up and some of us turn back to our family or origin at that time . It is lovely if it works out like that. But when the families were young, you are in a different world.A world where you need friends, often, rather than family,with the same circumstances.
That was the time I got very close to Susan and Louise.

Susan and I have remained close ever since.Thank god.

My work has gone quiet and that is ok, it often does in summer. Maybe next year we will just head off to Castlenel for the summer.

John and I had breakfast in the garden this morning,it was sunny and peaceful.
John is in less pain,he is away at the physio now.It is not easy watching a man of John's age in such pain. Maybe this has made me anxious.

Must away and  order a taxi to take me to the ey hospital !